wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
