It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
