im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
