Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
