Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
