Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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