there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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