she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude i'm inner monologue high
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
