i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
