You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
