The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
