just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
