All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
