Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Randomize
