I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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