Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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