is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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