i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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