They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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