I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
