Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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