their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
