If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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