but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
