could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
