Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
