I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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