I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
