ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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