woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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