I'm going to jail i love you
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
