I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
