p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
