yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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