3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
