the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
