I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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