I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
operation have a gay friend backfired
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
