Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You ate ashes out of my bong
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
