Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
