the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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