Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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