he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
