Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
this hospital has no fireball
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
