I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
