Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
