Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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