i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My pussy is not your playground.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
