It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
