ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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